10 very specific things I do at home that changed how I carry myself as a woman
Feeling put together even when things are hard, not constantly running on empty or making decisions from a place of stress & exhaustion and how I fill my own cup before the world starts taking from it
These 10 things will impact how people treat you, the opportunities that come your way, the relationships you attract, the standards you start holding without even having to think about it. It trickles into everything…
About five years ago I walked over to my neighbour’s door to drop off a slice of Birthday cake. She asked how old I was turning, 24 at the time, and when I told her she smiled and said “the way you carry yourself is really beautiful.”
That sentence stuck with me ever since.
It got me thinking about all the things that actually impact how we show up as women in the world. Not just how we look but how we feel, how we move, the energy we bring into a room. And over the years, through moving apartments, getting married, growing up basically (now being 29). I kept coming back to it. It became this little internal benchmark I didn’t even realise I was using when I was making decisions about how I wanted to live and take care of myself.
You know that woman who walks into a room and just has something about her? She’s not trying too hard, she’s not loud about it, she’s just calm, warm, put together in a way that feels effortless. She’s not rushing or frazzled or distracted. She just carries herself well and you feel it when she’s around. I kept that version of a woman in my head like a reference point. Still do.
And what I’ve figured out over the years is that it starts at home. Like genuinely, home is the foundation of all of it for me. It’s my sanctuary. The place I come back to after a long day at the office to decompress, to move my body, to cook something nourishing, to put outfits together, to sit on the terrace with a coffee in the morning sun, to have a glass of wine with my husband and have deep, meaningful conversations and do absolutely nothing for a bit. I am a homebody through and through and I really do love that about myself (It took me a while to own it!).
Because the outside world asks a lot. I have a demanding corporate job in London. My husband and I are hoping to start a family soon, life is full and honestly it’s only going to get fuller. And the older I get the more I realise that these habits and routines I’ve built up over the years are genuinely what carry me through all of that without falling apart.
And I want to be clear: I have my days. Days where I'm tired and irritable and nothing feels elegant or intentional, where I've skipped my routines and I can feel the difference immediately. But that's exactly the point. These habits are not about being some flawless, put-together woman every single day.
They're what bring me back to myself when I've drifted. They're what keep the hard days from turning into hard weeks. They’re why I feel good in myself most days. Why I feel put together even when things are hard. Why I’m not constantly running on empty or making decisions from a place of stress and exhaustion.
I know how to fill my own cup before the world starts taking from it.
And people feel that from you, you will notice. It shows up in how they treat you, the opportunities that come your way, the relationships you attract, the standards you start holding without even having to think about it. It trickles into everything. When you genuinely take care of yourself something shifts. You eat better, you dress better, you stop putting up with things that don’t match the life you’re building. You start actually enjoying your life rather than just getting through it. You become the main character of your own story which sounds cliche but it’s just true.
So here’s exactly what’s made the difference for me.
1.) I do a morning and evening Pilates stretch wearing noise cancelling headphones and playing binaural beats.
→ It's scientifically proven that we hold emotion physically in our body. Releasing it through stretching and movement quite literally reshapes how I inhabit my physical self. I stand taller, move more fluidly and feel less weighed down by the invisible tension I didn't even realise I was carrying.
2.) I have a set grocery list, plan my meals ahead of time & get my groceries delivered to always have nutritious food, snacks and drinks available
I love a sweet treat but I notice how refined sugar immediately impacts my wellbeing so I went on the hunt for options that use natural ingredients and am absolutely obsessed with this Loco Love Butter Caramel Pecan Chocolate (side note: watch your snack habits change for the better when you choose high quality, nicely packaged snack vs mass produced processed foods!) For my iced coffee I use 1-2 drops of these stevia drops for a hint of vanilla. These Sardines give me all the Omega-3 fatty acids for glowy skin and protein and I absolutely love a glass of chilled orange wine in the sun on a Saturday in July.
→ My nervous system feels safe, my body nourished and I don't panic order junk food or find myself scrambling in a busy shop post work. When my nutrition is consistent, my energy is stable, my skin is better and I show up to my days feeling fuelled rather than depleted and that has a direct impact on my confidence and how I present myself.
3.) I have a non-negotiable selfcare night at least one a week. Everything shower, foot bath, face & hair mask, moisturising my body, grooming, red light mask, teeth whitening
And when I say non-negotiable I mean it. It takes discipline sometimes and saying no to things to stay in and take care of myself but the amount of times this has impacted the trajectory of the rest of my week needs to be studied. Wether its how I show up in a meeting the next day, the confidence I have because my hair is silky and freshly blowdried or simply the energy I radiate because I keep a high standards of selfcare for myself that people notice immediately.
→ I step out feeling completely renewed: soft skin, clean nails, glowing face. When I look after myself this intentionally, I carry myself differently. There's a confidence that comes from knowing you've poured into yourself, not just your responsibilities.
4.) I shower with dimmed lights, candles on and use a luxurious shower oil and mentally wash away all of the emotions, stress and anxiety from the day
Prompts that I like to repeat in my head:
Anything that wasn’t mine to feel today, anything I absorbed from other people’s moods, words, or energy, the water is pulling it off me right now
I am washing away every bit of stress and tension that built up in my body today
Every negative emotion I carried into this shower is leaving my body right now
I am rinsing off every version of today that drained me, overwhelmed me, or made me feel small
The water is taking everything that isn’t serving me — the overthinking, the worry, the heaviness — all of it is leaving now
I step out of this shower feeling completely reset — light, clear, and back in my own energy
→ This combination clears my mind, lifts the mental load and makes me feel more feminine. What could be a two-minute afterthought becomes a daily act of devotion to myself. I step out not just clean, but reset, emotionally lighter and more connected to the version of myself I want to embody.
5.) My clothes are pressed or ironed professionally or by me on a Sunday. You can have the most beautiful wardrobe but crinkled shirts look scruffy no matter what.
→ I look and feel put together, my clothes fall better on my body and it impacts my confidence tenfold.It sets a standard for how I present myself to the world and for how I expect to feel in my own skin.
6.) I engage in slow, feminine, creative activities at home. Putting flower arrangements together, making candles myself, framing images, write, creating family photo albums, painting, browsing art and design books and magazines.
Some Ideas: Candle Making (you can buy wax and ceramics and make your own), Mandalas, Flower Arrangements, Scrapbooks/Family Memory Albums, Framing Art or Photographs, Painting Ceramics, mood boarding, baking & trying new recipes,…
→ These activities pull me out of productivity mode and back into my body. Creating something beautiful, even something small, reminds me that I am more than my output. It brings a softness and ease to how I move through the world.
7.) I treat my home as a living, breathing sanctuary and I create atmosphere morning, noon and night through engaging my senses. Lighting, Scent, Textures, Music.
→ When my environment is intentional, I feel intentional. Coming home to the right lighting, a beautiful scent and soft textures signals to my nervous system that I am safe and held. I become calmer, more graceful and less reactive and that shows up in how I carry myself everywhere I go.
8.) I shop my closet and take one day a month to play a good playlist and put new outfits together.
→ I stop defaulting to the same five outfits out of habit. Trying new combinations reignites excitement about getting dressed, and when I actually enjoy what I'm wearing, it shows in my posture, my energy, the way I walk into a room.
9.) I dry brush before showering and use moisturiser and body oil when my skin is still damp
→ This small ritual transforms getting ready from a chore into a ceremony. Smooth, cared-for skin makes me feel more at home in my body, more present, more sensual, more grounded in my femininity.
10.) I have set rituals and traditions in my home. My morning iced, cinnamon latte, my monthly goal audit, reviewing my finances weekly, deep cleaning and decluttering my home every quarter, weekend breakfasts with my husband
→ Rituals remove chaos and replace it with comfort. When my days have shape and my home has rhythm, I feel anchored. It gives me confidence being comes a woman who knows her routines, honours her life and doesn't move through her days on autopilot.
What are yours?
Love,
Clara
Love your “washing away” affirmations…🩶
Love this. I have found binaural music to be so healing and helpful in my own journey of self discovery and being able to soothe myself nervous system. Breathwork is also a non negotiable for me, daily I do a five minute routine once the working day is finished to reinforce to my mind and body that it’s now time to wind down. It’s an internal reset and really helps me to reconnect. 🙏🏽